home improvement: stage one

being the project manager than i am, i always back out a schedule when i paint. let's see, if i want everything to be totally done by tuesday morning, that means that my last coat needs to go up monday night, which means i can do one on monday morning and one or two on sunday, which means that primer has to go up on saturday, but if i'm going to need two coats of primer, that means one has to go on friday night, which means that i have to tape off on thursday...

yes, this is how my brain works. with everything, as a matter of fact. fuckin' scary, i know.

project runway: wackadoodle

btw, every time suede says "wackadoodle" i want to poke my fucking eye out. tho i'm gonna have to let it slide for now, because i actually need this dorky made-up word for my headline. (besides, who am i to judge those who use dorky made-up words, right?) it's just that unfortunately it happens to summarize this week quite well. then i promise to never use it again.

moving right along, let's define wackadoodle, shall we? 

"make an outfit out of a piece of shit saturn." 

seriously? a coche? and furthermore, the most qualified people to judge this random event are laura bennett and rachel zoe? ok, weird. on the other hand, i'll give the designers major credit because i had no idea how things were going to turn out. (tho naturally assumed the answer to this was "very badly.")

i was also relieved to see that a few of the themes i noted last week still hold true:

there will always be at least one brilliant quote. ok, so maybe not always brilliant, but we can alter that statement to now include "kinda funny" and "totally random" as well. so terri strikes again with the pretty funny one: "oh did you see korto's scarecrow jacket? cuz right now it's lookin' like jeepers creepers, and everybody just better runnn for cover when it comes attacking you!" as for random, how about when they told the designers that they were going to a rooftop of a building, and blayne immediately said something stupid like, "oooooh oh oh i bet it's a celebrity! i bet it's like mariah carey or something!" um, yah blayne, because the only rooftops in nyc belong to celebrities. everybody knows that! then joe with, "i'm from the motor city, so this challenge is right up my alley." yes joe, you grew up in a city that makes cars, so that makes you super qualified to make an outfit out them! absolutely! ugh. who knew that these two idiots were separated at birth? 

the person that you're sure is going to bomb the challenge is actually going to end up winning. leanne, you go girl. in a million years i never would have pegged her as the designer who was going to figure this one out (my money was on joe because he's from detroit - ha!) so next stop for leanne? probably bryant park. that's totally where this season is headed, dontcha think?

a new crazy emerges every time: kenley, i'm so glad you don't work in advertising, because you would last about FIVE MINUTES. because in my world, things change every few hours (and that's on a good day.) hell, even if you see the ad running in a magazine still doesn't mean it's done. so when kenley went into total meltdown mode beacuse ~ god forbid ~ her 5'11", 110lb model was swapped for a "curvy" 5'10" 107lb model, i thought oh boy, she is in the wrong business. girlfriend needs to work at a library or something. tho i'm sure she'd find a way to fuck that up too.

my gay boys skating on thinner and thinner ice. let's have a moment of silence for my boy keith.... god, did he go down in flames or what? both in his retarded outfit and crybaby exit. you know, when daniel had a little mr. sniffles moment as he was leaving, i was cool with it. in fact, it kind of of erased any negative feelings i had towards him and his snobby attitude by that point. however, keith sobbed like a four year old. i was so embarrased for him i wanted to press MUTE, but of course i didn't and was able to decipher his woe is me tale, which sounded something along the lines of booooo hoooo snifff cry cry cry snifffffffff... NOW what am i gonna do? now i'm stuck in utah... this was my ticket out. but now that i got kicked off i'm afraid i'll never get another chance to leave utah again.... booooo! 

um, really? you're a gay boy living in a super non-gay state, and instead of just picking up and moving like the rest of the homos would do, you somehow came up with idea that your one and only escape plan was a reality tv show about sewing? are you fucking kidding me?  well keith, worry no more, because i have a little advice for you. it's called west hollywood. it's also called bartender at the abbey. good luck!

bye bye barbie, hello ______!

i know i said that i was completely over painting and was NEVER going to do it again, but i would hope by now that you know better than to listen to me when i say that i'm never going to do something ~ especially if it involves 1) candy 2) circuit parties or 3) painting.

so yah, i was totally over painting now i'm totally over the white walls and the barbies.  i'm also really sick of reality tv and the gym, so i think it's time for a little project!

"after" pics coming soon...

ps re: slutty whorebag tranny mess

in case there was any confusion, the pics in the previous post are the "before" pics. the good aubrey. before she looked like the star of chewbacca: the prostitute years.

slutty whorebag tranny mess

seriously.

i've felt compelled to post about aubrey for like the past year, even tho this is by no means an insightful or original observation. because let's face it ~ even helen keller could spot this train wreck a mile away.  but then diddy chewed her a new one last night on making the band, which immediately made her blog-worthy.

btw, i love love LOVED her back in the beginning. she was just this cute & super groovy girl from palm springs who could dance her ass off. yes, occasionally she would bust out some dragalicious green glitter eyeshadow, but it was totally forgivable. it just made her seem even more hip and fashion-forward.

there there is NOW. wtf happened? does she not look in the mirror, EVER? did she really think that a D-cup was going to work on a 90-lb girl? and is that the reason why she is no longer a 90-lb girl? moreover, apparently decided to gain all of that weight through booze, hair extensions and make up? i just don't get it. for the life of me i do not get why she thought this was a "better look", or attractive to anyone that isn't a drag queen. 

now every time i see her i think, i can't believe that diddy is putting up with this shit, not to mention her skanky ass behavior.

well that is, until last night. i can't remember how the conversation went down exactly, but it went a little something like this:

diddy: you know, i don't need you trying to be the next pamela anderson.

aubrey: i'm not! i'm not trying to be anyone. in fact, i'm not doing it for me, i'm doing it for the group, for what's best for the group.

diddy: the hell you are! look at you! where is the girl i signed? where is THAT girl?

aubrey: yah, i know. i know that i have to work on my stomach.... i know that. but puff! it's three years later. of course i'm going to change.

diddy: yah it's three years later. three years later and you're going in the wrong direction.

amen.

project runway: dragalicious

so how's this for ironic: the most tia-friendly, hag-loving and entertaining episode EVER, and i'm completely uninspired to write about it. (thus the 4pm post.) 

it wasn't even until i was driving home from dinner last night that i remembered oh yah, it's wednesday. project runway night. yawn. i wonder what the shiteous challenge is going to be this week? designing new uniforms for the waiters at denny's? omg, torture. i just can't bear another round of lameness, i just can't...

fast forward twenty minutes to me turning on my tv (and brain), and then omg! that's right! it's the tranny's! i heart tranny's! yae! clap clap clap!

i'm probably not motivated to write because i don't have anything evil and snarky to say. (ha!) but seriously, as you know, the "funny not shitty/shitty not funny" thing goes hand in hand, and i truthfully ain't feeling either this morning (now afternoon). also, since it was just 50 minutes of pure entertainment, i'm not even sure it needs dissecting. 

but let's do it anyway! 

so how fun were the queens?!?!?  super fun!  especially on the runway. kind of makes you want to see them model every week, doesn't it? i was also hoping that chris march was going to be the judge, but of course it had to be rupaul. of course. silly me!  (quick little sidebar: has it really been that long since rupaul was famous?  because he/she is looking really loooong in the tooth. i found her sunken cheekbones especially alarming. what's up with that?)

when they first all walked out on the runway to introduce themselves, my eyes went right to acid betty ~ i would have picked her for sure. because the rest of them were just garden-variety drag, but i liked how betty looked like a retro-yet-futuristic-david bowie on some serious hallucinogenics. but what about jerrell's model?  she didn't even look like a man!  i mean, she looked like a really ugly woman that kind of looked like a man... ok, maybe that was her point.

the names were fucking awesome too ~ hedda lettuce? annida greenkard? miss understood?farrah moans? sharon needles? (oh oh oh i just got that one! HA!) however, hedda should change her name right now to "miss drametia bossy whorebag." granted, i wasn't in hearts with that crazy brussel sprouts outfit either, but hello missy, look what you do for a living!  you are the LAST person that should be calling something tacky or inappropriate. oy. 

when i wasn't being highly entertained by all of the fabulousness, i noticed that it seems as if there are a few themes emerging as each week passes. things like the person that you're sure is going to bomb the challenge is actually going to end up winning, that there will always be at least one brilliant quote, that the gay boys that you have a soft spot for are skating on thinner and thinner ice, that a new crazy emerges every time, and finally, the person you're convinced is a serial killer actually says something wicked funny.

translation: i have absolutely no idea as to how in hell this season is going to end.

ONE: the person that you're sure is going to bomb the challenge is actually going to end up winning.

ok, raise your hand if you took just one look at homophobic joe and anne margar(ita) conversing and thought "heyyyy match made in hell! buy bye!" yah, me too. but then next thing you know, he's whipping up a pink sequin jumpsuit with a strategically placed belt to "hide the jewels" and walking off with the win. unfuckinbelievable.

TWO: there will always be at least one brilliant quote.

and this week goes to tim: "well blayne, it looks like a terradactyl out of a gay jurassic park."

THREE: the gays boys that you have a soft spot for are skating on thinner and thinner ice.

(and by "you" of course i mean "me.") regardless, in this case daniel's thin ice snapped right in half, didn't it? for what it's worth, i did really like his dress and i thought the colors were gorge. i also believe that he's really talented, but until he pulls his bitchy head out of his tight ass, he's going to remain the angry & defensive cocktail dress maker.

FOUR:  a new crazy emerges every time.

did you see terri sitting on the couch next to joe after he won and came backstage?  oooooooh girlfriend was NOT happy. she was so bitter it actually kind of scared me a bit. i also didn't get the sense that she would see the footage now and think, "oh shit! they got that on camera?" instead i'm fairly confident that she was thinking "this is BULLSHIT and i don't care who knows it! i lost a DRAG QUEEN challenge to this white trash guido just because he cleverly disguised his client's PENIS? this fucking SUCKS and don't you DARE try and talk to me about it. don't you DARE!" which now that i think about it, it wouldn't actually surprise me if terri had had a little transgender thing going on herself. yah, the only time i've really seen her smile or laugh was when she was in the room with all of ... omg, her people.

FIVE: the person you're convinced is a serial killer actually says something wicked funny.

this also could have gone under #2, but i gotta give leanne a special shout out for having a personality for a change. she was just too damn funny when she was bitching about blayne. "oh blayne, blayne... everything is "licious": girlicious, tanlicious, fabbylicious... seriously, i swear if he says it one more time i'm going to barf... which would be 'barflicious', i guess...." funny! leanne made a funny!  but more importantly, she wasn't wearing those crazy glasses and sweating profusely as she said it.

SIX: everything i just pointed out will be completely obsolete by next week.

i have a feeling that it's all downhill from here, friends.

true romance

so i did it. i actually did it. i finished my book for dr. N, which means that i just went 30 days without crack. (ok, technically it's only 29 days as of today, but i'm fairly confident that i won't be eating any in the next 12 hours. i also know that if tomorrow morning i had a post about candy instead of project runway there would be major hell to pay.)

anyway, back to me...

YAE ME!

btw, my book for dr. N started off very literal and detailed, but by the end i was just kind of throwing things in there to get it done. typical. then i made this nice fancy cover (see above), and spiral bound it at school (one of the few perks left.) so now she will learn two things ~ one, i didn't eat any candy and two, i sure have a lot of free time.

do i feel any healthier, you ask?  um, not really. but that's probably because i had to triple my caffeine consumption in order to rally to go to the gym as much as a did. however, i can wear jeans that i haven't worn in about a year, which as you all know is like the best feeling EVER. even better than the cracked out bliss i get from hoovering a pound of red ropes. 

(((sigh))) 

tho like M always says, "thank god for vanity."  so sad. but so very true.

no, i'm not dead

i was just in san francisco for a few days. (which is practically the same thing, i know.)

HA HA HA HA. i'm kidding. sort of.

but before i turn into the anti-christ, i must say that any and all negative thoughts about the city were completely negated by seeing my oldest and dearest friend, S. S and i met in college and then lived together throughout our party-loving 20's, so you can just imagine how many "remember when's...?" (probably followed by "the time we were at harry o's and drank so much that i/you...") were initiated throughout the course of the 48 hours. good times!

ok, that being said...

if you've known me for longer than five minutes, you already know that tia no likey sf! i could never really give anyone a concrete reason why, i just hated it every time i went ~  and that seemed to be a good enough reason for me. however, this time i was determined to try and be a grown up and see the good in it. 

which i more or less did. because i definitely think it would be awesome to be able to walk out of my front door, and go get coffee or lunch or go shopping. (because as it stands, right now the only thing that i can get by walking out of my apartment door is getting hit by a bus.) 

but the weather!!! oy. i guess i was lucky since it was pretty sunny when we were eating lunch at the embarcadero, even tho it was cold and windy.  but by the time we got to the golden gate? FORGET ABOUT IT. crazy fog/cold/wind ~ you could barely even see the bridge, which naturally is the one thing i wanted to shoot.

for those of us that grew up in so cal, obviously there is nowhere else we can go that compares to our weather over the course of 365 days. i get that. i also know if it had been the dead of winter, or if on the east coast, yah, of course it's not going to be 72 and sunny.   

but in the middle of august? in california? (even if i was practically on the canadian border.) then top this off by making it one of the most expensive cities in the WORLD? um, NO. that's where you lose me. i don't get it.

watch, one day i'll get some totally bananas job offer up there and will have no choice but to go. (and i think that situation is commonly referred to as "purgatory.")

see you in hell, peeps!

t$

project runway: "um, hello? slutty slutty slutty!"

god i love michael kors ~ i swear he's getting funnier and queenier with each episode. and terri didn't disappoint again either ~ did you hear what she said when she was bitching about suede? "you know, i don't know if he's packin' balls or a va jay jay, but he needs to figure. it. out."  

(((awesome)))

ok, back to the show...

much better last night, yes?  granted, the bar was low low low, but at least i finally got a sense of the level of talent. however, i still feel that this year is lacking because there is no one to root for. even someone like santino was better because whether you loved him or loved to hate him, at least he invoked an strong opinion.

like you know that i heart keith, but his personality is hardly what i'd call engaging. (someone get boyfriend an adderall and a 4-shot latte, stat!) kenley and daniel are cute and stylish, tho annoying as hell. stella and suede are completely bananas, but not in a good way. and jerrell, korto and terri are obviously talented, however all three have some serious anger issues looming immediately beneath the surface. and then there's blayne and the serial killer. sheesh ~ talk about a motley crue.

i was pretty much in agreement with how things panned out last night, tho i did think that jerrell & stella were going to win (and truthfully probably did a slightly better job with the assignment.) but of course i wanted keith to win for purely selfish reasons. i also thought that blayne's crazy bermuda triangle outfit was definitely the worst, but i was glad to see that totally unlikeable whorebag kelli leave. lord knows we already have enough of those.

but enough about this episode ~ did ya'll see the previews for next week!?!??! omfg, i'm so excited. seriously, when i saw chris march walk out on the runway in that crazy outfit, i squealed with delight! omg it's a drag queen challenge! clap clap!

it's going to be the best challenge ever in the history of PR! (unless of course, there is some circuit party & glow stick episode looming on the horizon.)

*woot*!

gearing up for project runway...

finding the happy

despite hannah's best efforts, i just could not get out of the funk yesterday. all i wanted to do was go home and self-medicate with massive amounts of sugar, but instead i somehow eeked out my very last bit of motivation and went to the gym instead. 

it's funny how my brain works. veruca knows that she is not allowed to talk this month, so that simply opened the door for some other crazy character. because suddenly i went from thinking about red vines and cinnamon oatmeal raisin ice cream to, hmmm, i wonder why they stopped making qualuudes. that was dumb!

for the record, i totally missed the qualuude era ~ i'm guessing by about 10 years. so where i came up with that is beyond me. i guess it just goes to show you how deep i was digging to find some way out of the hole.

but who needs 1970's pharmaceuticals when you have reality tely? because after a not-so-fun hour and half at the gym, i wasn't happy, but i was certainly happy that it was over. then driving home i remembered that million dollar listing was on (i heart madison!). and if that weren't enough, in some rare momement of live tv, i found myself on MTV, where aubrey/ robert/ donnie were hosting an hour of greatest moments of making the band. why, you ask? well because the new season starts on tuesday!!!! it was actually kind of sad how happy i was about this little announcement. 

but i guess when you're coming back from the depths of hell, it doesn't take much, does it?

"it's like walking on sunshine!"

best. 

intervention. 

ever.

squish squish

so i woke up this morning in the worst mood ever, probably because i had a dream last night about the world coming to an end (courtesy of the sad state of my industry and the advil PM, no doubt.)  seriously, i could barely get out of bed ~ it was BAD.

then i got to work and came into THIS! omg, i totally thought i was going to cry. it's beyond cute.

i have a silly and funny copy writer friend "upstairs" who knows how much i looooove kids. so yesterday his daughter gave me a seahorse, which i must admit was pretty awesome. then based on that great reception, she apparently decided to go balls out with the hearts. or maybe he drew everything after she burned out on the second one. regardless, it made my day.  actually, i think it just made my year.

the only weird part is that he was the one person in my world-coming-to-an-end dream, but i don't think he made it ~ at least he was not in a good place right before i woke up. it was pretty realistic. and scary.

i think that i'll keep that little story to myself, tho. i mean, can you imagine? "hey! thanks to you and hannah for the hearts! but weird eh, that you like pretty much died in my dream last night? actually i'm not exactly sure what happened, but i felt guilty for being with you so i basically left you for dead. wow, talk about irony!"  

um, no.

***tc hearts hannah***

yesssssssssssssssss!

guess where i'm gonna be on december 17th???

YAE!

summer sunday

how is it that i've lived in LA for... oh, 35 years, yet have never been up to the observatory?pathetic!  wait, i take that back ~ i did go once, circa 1986. it was at night, for the laserium show of some police record. (probably zenyatta mendatta or whatever the fuck that album is called.) also, chances are good that we were pounding wine coolers in the car before we went in, so needless to say i don't remember a whole lot.

anyway...

22 years later, i thought maybe i'd do something other than go to la playa and stare at hot gay boys while flipping through the latest issue of star magazine. you know, something kind of cultural and intelligent. i also knew that i just didn't have it in me to shoot one more damn building downtown.

it was a beautiful day, and would have been even better if there hadn't been four MILLION people there. JEEEESUS. at first i was framing my shots around them, but that got old. quickly. it was impossible! so i figured that i would just have to photoshop them out later (and by "i" you know that i really mean my friend B in the studio.)

i would have loved to stay for the sunset, but that was about an hour and a half from when i had already maxed out, so maybe next time. maybe on the day that i'm the only one allowed up there. 

ps: if you want to see the rest of the pics ~ www.flickr.com/photos/tmoneyla/sets/

summer saturdays

so instead of going up to temescal canyon and sitting with a ton of kids and visitors from the inland empire, on saturday M wanted to go to the gay beach. (of course.) well, i'm not quite sure when will rogers went from the "UCLA beach" to the "gay one", but i am exceptionally happy that it did!  granted, the water is like 3 miles from the parking lot, but well worth the effort. absofuckinglutely.

now my only question is: whyyyyyy did it take me so long to figure this out?  you mean this whole time i've been sitting with families of 20 (most of them swimming in their jeans, btw) and listening to screaming monkeys as they kick sand on my towel when i could have been sitting with total hotness????

*duh*

summer fridays

probably the best thing about my school. 

(porque tengo gusto de la playa mas que escuala!) 

but shit, who doesn't?

and what's wrong with tanorexia?

i was wondering if i was going get away with that one, miss h... HA! 

yes OF COURSE i find the whole sub plot of blayne and his tanning addiction hilarious, and obviously highly relatable. however, contrary to what you might think, i do try and keep my babbling to a minimum sometimes ~ that just happened to be one of the things that ended up in the trash can, conveniently enough.  :D

i also knew that i was the last person that should be making fun of him, seeing as how i used to go almost every day back in the late 80's. (hello, that's how i met steph ~ she worked at "contemporary tan"and would let me bake until my heart was content, usually about an hour at a time. fucking scary, i know.) what's even scarier is that i am pale now in comparison. really, you have no idea...

ok, back to the trash can ~ my exact notes (yes, i take them) read: "blayne. tanning whore. can't judge. he funny. like the part about how he's going to wilt away and die by the end of the show from paleness."

and since we're on the subject, the other snippet that ended up getting cut was when tim was introducing apollo to the kiddies ~ did anyone else notice how all of the designers were looking at him?  kenley had that *wink wink* look, like she wanted to bang him on the spot.  joe was grinning like the super dork that he is, with this look like "gee, i wonder if he'll want to grab a beer after this and chat about sports?  i'm so over all of these homos already!" stella, of course, looked like her brain was already going a mile a minute, trying to figure out to get leather and studs into the mix. and our favorite serial killer had that twinkle in her eye (and if i'm not mistaken, a bit of drool starting to form), looking like she was totally planning on how to chop the little guy up into pieces and put him in the freezer before the final judging. 

freak!

i think i'm going to have to blog about him anyway

madison hildebrand.  

swoon.

project runway: cape canaveral and the sad purple dress

i think i totally jinxed my reality tv viewing pleasure with that last post, because it only took the requisite 15-20 minutes for me to start playing othello on my iPhone, while thinking that maybe a valium and a gallon of wine actually would be far more exciting than this crap.

what a lame one! obviously i wasn't super excited about this challenge in the first place, tho admittedly was thankful that they weren't designing shiteous speed skating outfits.  (it's definitely way too soon for the wrestling challenge, part II.) 

so i'm thinking, oh yae. olympic outfits. yawn. but along the lines of other things i'd never be caught dead in, i remembered that the US postal service uniform runway show from season one was actually pretty good ~ made even better by the fact that jay's model didn't show up and austin scarlett had to model his outfit. that was bananas!

this runway show however, was NOT bananas. it was totally lame. and to make things worse, i thought that the serial killer made the most interesting outfit, while my boy daniel obviously is losing his shit early on and cranked out the most non-athletic thing ever. now i have no idea wtf is goin on, so i'm going to hold off on my predictions for a while.  i'm clearly putting a curse on everything that i like about the show.

as for the lesser of the two (thirteen) evils, jennifer's dress was obviously not atletic either, but at least it was cute. at least one person would have wanted to wear it, so i would have kept her based on that alone. however, i personally would have sent joe packing based on that kmart inspired lameness.  because it was bad enough with his bizarre definition of a "skort", but the big "USA" up the side was totally RETARDED.  it looked like a spaceship! and who in their right mind would want to parade around in that??? NO ONE.

but while the episode itself was not so entertaining, there were some brilliant quotes -- three of them, to be exact:

terri, after keith took her fabric: "a sistah gotta keep one eye open, that's all i'm sayin'."

super queen, michael kors, re: daniel's dress: "well if your sport is drinking, it's a great dress."

and heidi, with probably the best line EVER: "daniel, you missed this challenge completely. we asked for an outfit to showcase an athlete, and instead you gave us a sad, purple cocktail dress."

ha ha ha ha oh SHOOT ME.  next week better be blog-worthy, otherwise we are going to be talking about madison from million dollar listing every thursday instead.  at least boyfriend knows how to dress!

project runway: brb

sorry peeps. i'm going to need to finish this $4.00, 16.9 fl oz sugar free red bull and probably have a cup or two of coffee before i'm going to be able to write about last night's hot mess of an episode!

reality tv whore

omfg, when did this happen?!?! WHEN? clearly i wasn't paying attention, because suddenly one day i turned into my own worst nightmare.

i used to give my friends soooo much shit (jkp in particular) for watching tely every day, especially reality tv. i was very proud to say ~ and still am ~ that i have never seen one episode of the bachelor. or the bachelorette. or survivor. or amazing race. or flava of love. (i have standards, you know.)

however, now about the only thing i can say is, "well, at least i'm watching cable, not farm-fed-middle-america-wonderbread-network-crap." (as if that's any better.) tho once the biggest loser comes back on in september, even that won't be true. 

so, eh... nevermind.

so back to the hijacking of my brain... about the only time i ever watched tv was on sunday ~ 12 hours of NFL programming, to be exact. which of course is not only acceptable but totally and completely cool. (right?) then, well... well i'm not quite sure what happened. maybe it's when i got my flat screen. or maybe it was when i decided that 20 years or whatever of working out was more than enough, and that my free time would be much better spent sitting on my ass eating candy. or maybe it was the day i realized that making the band was like the most entertaining thing i had ever seen in my life. regardless, whatever was going on beforehand escalated to an ALARMING level when i got tiVo at the beginning of the year.  

behold the following ~

monday

intervention

paranormal state 

i want to work for diddy

date my ex: joe and slade

tuesday

million dollar listing

wednesday

project runway

shear genius

thursday

america's best dance crew 2

kathy griffin: my life on the d-list

friday

the soup

saturday

nothing, believe it or not

sunday

the two coreys

mad men (look ~a real tv show)

not too bad, you say? well probably because that list doesn't include all of the random shows that record in the middle of the night, like deranged (each episode is about a different serial killer) or snapped (about women who lose their shit and kill their boyfriend/ fiancee/ husband/ lover/ lover's wife). then there are all of my super geeky shows for rainman, like the universe, extreme engineering, when we left earth: the nasa missions, modern marvels or cities of the underworld. and THEN there are the shows that will soon be in the mix, or at least i wish they were: the real world/road rules challenge, making the band, the biggest loser, the new 90210, make me a supermodel (preferably the UK version), step it up and dance... ok i'm going to stop now.

however, to defend myself just a little, it is the ultimate form of a mini-escape. movies are too long and too involved for my ADD-brain, and i'm usually flipping through a magazine 15-20 minutes into it ~ getting me to pay attention to anything past that point is HUGE. 

and since "escape" for me for many years meant a either bottle+ of chardonnay, valium, xanax or god knows how many bong loads (or all of the above), i'm going to say that this is probably the least harmful out of all of my addictions. the least cool, most certainly, but at least i won't need a liver transplant at the end of it all. 

maybe just a brace for the carpel tunnel that i'm already starting to get from fast forwarding through all of the commercials.