reality meets reality

ok, enough of the deep thoughts and sad poems. it's time to talk about super hot bisexuals.

i'm really not quite sure how i could have forgotten to tell ya'll about this, one of my top five life experiences! well, ok ~ top five in the category of meeting-your-reality-tv-crush-at-fat-fish-in-west-hollywood-before-the-prop-8-rally-even-tho- you-know-that-he-really-fancies-boys-and-even-if-he-just-fancied-girls-that-he- is-way-out-of-your-league-anyway. 

whew.

and now that i put it that way, i guess i'd have to say that this was not just top five, but definitely numero uno.

so you already know that i love madison from million dollar listing. love love love, especially compared to chad, with his scary bowl cut and horrible infomercial manner of speaking. however, i do find josh pretty entertaining, mainly because it appears that boyfriend looks like he's about ten minutes away from an intervention. but we'll save all of that fascinating extracurricular commentary for season three...

yah, so like i said ~ weho, fat fish, pre-prop 8 rally. tao and i were eating in the bar area, and i had just shoved a ginormous piece of spicy tuna roll in my mouth when i saw him walk in the door.

t: mmmmmhhh! mmhhh! mhhhhhhhhh!

tao: omg, are you ok? are you choking? and did you really have to shove that ENTIRE piece in your mouth?

t: mmmmmmm madison. MADISON! omg, omg. i'm dying. have you seen million dollar listing? omg, swoon. what? you haven't seen it? well you should. its good, really good. wait! omg, omg. he's meeting a date... another cute boy.

tao: go say hi!

t: um, NO.

tao: i'll go say hi.

t: nooooooo. i'll be so embarras.... ok. ok!

so tao follows him ~ yes FOLLOWS him ~ to the bathroom. (and god bless miss hong kong, because i don't know if anyone else would have had the cajones to do that for me.) so tao is waiting, waiting, waiting for madison to come out, but when he finally does he's on his phone. ahhhhh, denied. however, that's just when normal people would give up, but not miss hong kong. oh no. instead, miss hong kong just patiently waits until madison gets back to his seat and his "date" gets up and goes to the bano. 

then next thing i know, i see tao approaching madison and pointing my way. of course i pretended not to see any of this, and at that point was also very thankful for the dim lighting since my face had lit up like a fuckin' christmas tree.

tao: heyyyyyyy tia, this is madison! madison, this is tia. she really likes...

t: oh, ok... soooo mortifed. um, yah. well, hola madison. uh, yah, big fan. big fan! nice to, um, meet you (wow you really are as beautiful in real life as you are on the tely in fact maybe even more so but i'm not so sure about that 'bisexual' thing dude because you know it's just that whole 'layover on the flight to gay town' thing but i just might have to make an exception for you i mean even if it were just for one night oh hell yes! ) huh? pardon me?

mad: i said it's nice to meet you.

t: yes, why yes it is. sooooo do a lot of people recognize you now from the show?

mad: yes, totally. but it's pretty cool.

t: um, yah. cool! so are you going to the prop 8 rally? (you know, and defend your 'gay half'?)

mad: no, i'm actually on my way to an event at the regent beverly wilshire. but yah, so cool you guys are going to that. i can't believe it didn't pass...

t: (swooooooooon)

mad: ...then we start filming season 3 tomorrow.

t: oh really? well, super. and well, um, nice meeting you. ok, see you on the tely i guess!

mad: bye, very nice meeting you. bye tao.

tao: omg, he's HOT. i love him too now.

swoon swoon swoon.

best.concert.ever.

yes, super geek is wearing her concert tee at school today and yes, the lighting rigs are gigantic coffins!

(((AWESOME)))

splendour in the grass

what though the radiance

which was once so bright

be now forever taken from my sight,

though nothing can bring back the hour

of splendour in the grass,

of glory in the flower,

we will grieve not, 

but rather find strength 

in what remains behind.

       

         ~ w. wordsworth

no, i'm not dead...

tho what i can tell you is that i barely remember my first two weeks back after turks. (referring to it as depressed now seems like a major understatement.) but let's face it ~ no one likes coming back from vacation, right? especially a fabby one. it sucks major ass. 

re-entry back into real life always seems to go one of two ways: the first day or so is essentially torture, where about all you can muster up the energy for is dumping your entire suitcase on to the bedroom floor, going through the vacation pictures a million and one times, and maybe ~ maybe ~ looking for some of your new summer camp friends on facebook. then right around the time your tan starts to fade (and you're remembering mundane things like paying the gas bill), you're pretty much over the fact that this trip is behind you. or, if you come back to tons of work, bullshit and general drametia, that vacation glow has completely vanished that first day by lunchtime. so in that case, in less than 24 hours, you're not only over the whole grief period, but have also probably also forgotten that you even went on the trip in the first place. 

however, this time i found myself in some strange place between these two usual, post-vacay scenarios. 

that first night i came back and immediately headed to M's casa (and to shots of don julio silver, see above) despite some serious lack of sleep ~ not to mention that i had to be at work the next morning. and if that weren't bad enough, next thing you know we're at the abbey watching some tranny lip sync (poorly), while drinking double margaritas and smoking benson & hedges menthols. 

see? it IS just like vacation!!! well, the only difference being that now i'm with a bunch of mo's and wearing a sweater. anyway, i just chalked this night up to a quick 'helping hand' back into the mainstream. yet somehow this "one night" managed to turn into every single weekend (and almost as many week nights) for the next month and a half.

on the other hand, work was a totally different story, because that took every ounce of fucking energy i had just to get my ass in the front door, whereupon i'd sit there and stare at my computer until 5:29pm. (i swear, i don't think my pulse ever went above 20 bpm. ever.) but poor b-man. because out of all of my school chums, he was the one who was quite happy i was back, since he had had no one to talk fantasy football with while i was gone. but guess who didn't want to to talk about football? shit, guess who had practically forgotten that football even existed? so every day for two weeks, our daily chats went a little something like this:

B: heyyyyyyyy! did you see that slaton KILLED it in that monday night game?? like over 200 total yards and two scores. totally bananas!

T: huh?

B: dude, your rockstar rookie running back! helllllllo?

T: meh

B: well did you win?

T: dunno

B: um, do you want to check?

T: (blink blink)

B: you don't care, do you?

T: meh

B: omg, you are soooooooo still on vacation. wHaTeVeR. we'll just try and have this conversation tomorrow then, ok?

T: (blink blink)

cut to the next day (and the next one and the next one after that) where we pretty much had that exact same conversation. well, if you even want to call it a conversation. my guess is that to him, it probably felt more like visiting a friend, (the one in a coma) and chatting her up in the hopes that she'd hear him and wake up at some point. sad, sad, SAD.

now, six loooooong weeks later, i'm actually spending my saturday night getting a massage instead of getting all crazy at cherry pop with the boys. i also finally woke up at work, tho admittedly that had far more to do with the fact that my AE is a total idiot, and i have been putting out fires and doing damage control every ten minutes thanks to his dumb ass.

so what does this all mean? well i'm not quite sure. i think probably the best way to describe it is that i now find myself in some kind of "life purgatory." i do not know what happened to me in turks and caicos, but the girl that went on vacation is not the girl that came back. because before i left, i was someone who was quite content to hole up in my apartment all weekend (aka anne frank), watch ~ and blog ~ about all of my tragic reality shows, and occasionally motivate to go downtown and shoot yet another round of buildings and signs. and while i've been totally over this shallow industry of mine for quite a while, at the same time of course i was happy to have a job that allowed the very crucial life necessities such as bmw's, designer sunglasses and fake hair.

cut to ten days later, where none of these things seemed remotely important. i mean, does a person really need fiery fuchsia walls and a $3,000 white ultra suede couch. really? really? i also felt like a caged animal if i was home for more than ten minutes at a time, thus my multiple trips to cherry pop. (seriously, if i go there one more time i'm pretty sure that they are going to ask me why i'm just not working there. )

but ok, i could deal with going from one extreme to the other. change is good. and at least i was getting out of the damn house! but then something happened. and this something was last weekend when i totally maxed out on my post-vacation life as well. it hit me like a ton of bricks, to tell you the truth.

so yah, like i said ~ PURGATORY. it sucks. because now i don't want to go out, yet i don't want to stay in either. i don't want to stay at my retarded job a minute longer, yet i have no idea what to do next. i still can't really deal with straight boys, but now i'm not so sure i can deal with the gay ones either. and i still want to take pictures, but i'm not really sure what to take pictures of anymore. 

etc etc etc.

sigh. now i really have a headache!  but i'll get back to ya'll re: this topic, of course, if and when i am able to figure it all out. in the meantime, i'm going to go on the club med website and check the prices for may... *WOOT*!

cheers ~

t$

the lure of summer camp

..."two weeks ago i didn't know any of these interesting, passionate souls, and now we all share wonderful memories ~ and just a few secrets ~ of our time in turks and caicos. imagine if we could bring just a piece of this paradise into our daily existence? instead of fearing others, we might enthusiastically dive into a sea of new friendships; instead of running away from frightening experiences, we might take hold of them like the trapeze bar; instead of following the status quo, we might dance out of step and laugh until it hurt. imagine if we could all be as warm, fluid and gentle as the water of turks and caicos. perhaps we should try."

reality bites

(((sigh)))

vacaciones

later sk8ters! off to turks & caicos. hopefully i'll have some great ~ and, eh, blog-appropriate ~ stories for ya'll... ;)

project runway: congrats to the serial killer!

"that guest judge jennifer lopez called in sick to the project runway finale fashion show was perhaps the last nail in the coffin for the series, which is now in it's fifth, last, and least-exciting season on bravo... nonetheless, about 600 people packed bryant park's promenade tent for the 9 a.m. taping, to see fashions that weren't worth the frenzy nor the under-eye circles. even judges michael kors and nina garcia chuckled intermittently ~ the latter was spied massaging her temples ~ during the designers presentations... korto momolu showed skill with subtly pleated, jewel-hued frocks and one beautiful floor-length aqua gown. however, it was leanne marshall's sweet-chic sculptural lineup, clearly the crowd favorite, that proved the most interesting." ~ wwd

that pretty much sums it up, doesn't it? moreover, i'm fairly confident that the aforementioned chuckling and temple-rubbing came about during joe's and/or suede's show. i can't even IMAGINE how shiteous those must have been in person. those poor judges. also, jocey had a really good point: did you notice how they didn't even bother with a reunion show this season? we're sick of them, they're sick of each other... at least we're all in agreement on that.

if you had told me two months ago that not only would leanne win, but that by the end i'd actually be rooting for her... so crazy! but naturally i liked her line the best ~ all white and t$ blue, monochromatic, and modern ~ probably because it looked like my apartment. and i must say that i thought that tia was the prettiest model to win yet! (heh heh.) seriously, remember christian's model, lisa? omg, girlfriend looked like the toucan from the fruit loops cereal box.

korto's line reminded me too much of chloe's ~ all of that heavy, shiny fabric that looked like it was better suited for drapes in some wealthy, 65 year-old widow's park avenue apartment than on a runway. and kenley... seriously, how DELUSIONAL can a person be? (even I recognized the balenciaga and alexander mcqueen rip offs, and i'm certainly not the target audience for those two designers.) then when she said to queen kors, "oh yah, i should probably take a class in fashion history..." um hello? this isn't some chanel dress from 1962 we're talking about ~ these are dresses that just came out six months ago. 

idiot! 

so i know that i speak for all of us when i say that it was certainly a pleasure to see her come in 3rd, and the utterly shocked look on her face when they didn't even HESITATE to get her smarty pants ass off of that stage.

ding dong the witch is dead! 

ok peeps, i'm outty. and despite all of my bitching, it was admittedly quite entertaining to make fun of these yahoos all season long. but don't despair! season six starts in january!

xo~

t$

separated at birth: alexander mcqueen & kenley

un.fucking.believable.

project runway: a moment of silence

squish squish.

making the band 5: tryouts!

so NOW what??? is there no more danity kane? boo! because despite what you may think, for once this isn't about reality tv. yes, it's actually about the band. yes, i really like them. granted, they're no metallica, but shit, i listened to that first cd for like a month straight. ".... la la la ONE SHOT...!" i even had a little finale party at my casa, where jocey and dt did a little dance number for all of us. it was bananas!

anyhoo, i don't think you have to be a DK fan to know that it was time for aubrey to GO. ugh. i am so over that tranny, and apparently somebody else was too. 

scripted or not, i must say i got immense pleasure from hearing diddy say to her, "what? you want ME to call YOU every time i make a decision that even remotely relates to the band? ME? i'm the mother fuckin' PRESIDENT of bad boy, and you want to me to personally call aubrey and tell her what I'M doing with MY multi-million dollar investment? um, NO.  it doesn't work like that, girlie. and you know what? i shouldn't even be HAVING this mother fuckin' conversation. so you know what? you're out. yes. who wants to go with her?" 

clap clap clap!!!!

my guess is that ebony/wanita/d. woods is going to take him up on that offer. and you know what that means! season 5 is coming! woot! 

hmmm, i wonder if that girl melissa will try out again... or taquita? taquita was fucking HIGHlarious... omg, i just had the scariest vision: kenley, completely devastated from losing project runway, realizes that she had foolishly put her other life-long dream of singing and dancing on the back burner to make alexander mcqueen rip offs, when she suddenly has the brilliant idea to keep her reality tv career going...

ha ha ha ha ha ha! omfg, NO.

project runway: little miss sunshine

omg, kenley is UNFUCKINBELIEVABLE.  didn't her mama teach her that no one likes a smarty pants? oh yes, that's right ~ she didn't have no mama. just her dad and a tugboat. wHaTeVeR. seriously, was that sad little story supposed to make me feel sorry for her? cuz guess what? IT DIDN'T.

i couldn't believe that they didn't kick her ass to the curb last night after that i-want-a-golden-goose-and-i-want-it-now! tantrum. those judges are such whores. "well, i really would like to see what she'd come up with given the chance, wouldn't you? i mean, even tho she is kind of rude...." that's bullshit. i wanted to see her dreams squashed right there on the runway!!! i was soooo looking forward to the nuclear meltdown that was about to come...

oh, wait. i get it now...  YES! they want to send her home for three months and have her spend all of that time slaving away at her reptiles from the 50's collection, meanwhile getting her hopes and self-delusion level sky high. THEN they'll tell her it's all total crap and that NOW she can go home. 

omg, that's brilliant.

my favorite part of last night was when my boy jerell got all nasty on her ass during the judging. sheesh, i must have watched that five times...

j: well i really think that i should show at bryant park (sniff sniff) because it's my life-long (sniff) dream, and and and um i just really wanna go (SNIFF!) and um if i had to pick two people to be there, it would be korto and leanne... i  mean, i think that kenley is a talented designer and all, especially considering the fact that she was raised on a boat by some straight dude in FLORIDA of all godforsaken places, but helllllllo? the 1950's are like, so, well, 195o's, and...

k: shut UP jerell!  they didn't ask you for REASONS. they just asked you WHO, you BUTTHEAD.

j: but i'm going to give them reasons, KENLEY.

k: but NO ONE wants to hear them! and what do YOU know anyway? talk about making the same dress every week...

j: shut up BITCH! you'll get your turn to talk. but now it's MY TURN.

k: blah! blah! blah! blah!

j: (tears are suddenly gone, and his inner sha-nay-nay takes over) FINE! you want it like that? alrighty then. ME. KORTO. LEANNE ~ TO.THE.PARK, YO!

clap clap clap!

project runway: mars attacks!

you know what's even funnier than how bad all of these outfits are from suede's show at bryant park? the look on the model's faces ~ even they can't hide how mortified they are to be wearing this shit, especially that last girl. 

you just KNOW that she was backstage thinking, omfg, how did i end up with this yahoo designer? seriously! granted, that country western parade is also pretty fuckin' tragica, and i feel especially sorry for the girl that gets stuck with that cheap-ass star spangled banner dress. but what is UP with the frock i'm wearing!?!?  i look like tinkerbell on crack! lord help me jesus, because i'm pretty sure that my non-existent career is going to be over after this one.

project runway: tick tock

so in a shocking turn of events, suede is eliminated and kenley is an annoying, bratty bitch.

(((YAWN)))

seriously, i wasn't even going to post anything this week ~ not so much because the subject matter is getting more boring by the minute, but in this instance i just simply forgot. (which really kind of sums it all up, doesn't it?) but then poor jocey may was so desperate to vent about kenley that she was forced to do that on a post about home improvement, of all things. so my dear jocey baby, this one's for you. xo!

um, where was i? oh yah, suede was thankfully sent packing and kenley is a whorebag... yes. but let's face it ~ kenley's outfit was WAY WORSE. and not just because it was far more new jersey mall rat than anything remotely hip hop (which was bad enough in itself), but i was positive that that misfire, coupled with her shitty attitude, would have sent her home for sure. 

tho i can't help but think ~ actually, KNOW ~ that the judges are still scarred from their first final four, when wendy pepper actually, by some total miracle, didn't design a southern ball gown for a 60-year old woman and won that emmy challenge, thereby leaving the uber-fabby austin scarlet out of the final. so given the potential of that scenario happening again, i'm sure their thinking was that they'd rather see 12 balenciaga rip-offs from veruca salt that some mars attacks! costume extravagaza from suede. talk about the lesser of two evils.

btw, if jerell doesn't win this year i'm going to have a coronary. i think he's the only talented and likable one of the bunch. not to mention, the thought of ever having to see or listen to the serial killer again scares me more than watching paranormal state at 1:30am. which, let me tell ya, is fuckin' SCARY.

boo!

home improvement: concept to execution

hmmm, just like my day job. 

except it's fun!

closet shopping

don't you just love when you're cleaning out your closet and you find some totally rad pair of jeans that you bought but never wore? wait, what are these? omg, i completely forgot about these true religions... how did that happen? oh yes, it was one of those these-will-be-awesome-once-i-lose-five-pounds- purchases... ugh, lord knows i have plenty of those... oh wait, they fit now? SAH-WEET!

well who knew that it worked that way with people, too? 

last night i went out with my new friend M. well, the new friend that i've actually known for 5 years. but it wasn't until we ran into each other a few weeks ago at the mayan (and ended up hanging out for the entire night) that we realized, omfg, we are soooo much alike it's scary.

 

that big epiphany prompted a proper meeting, you know, the one where you get to dust off the first date 101 book and ask all of those rudimentary questions like, "so, where did you grow up?" and "do you have any brothers or sisters?" however, those quickly evolve into totally fascinating topics like, "ooooh, you sing? i had NO idea..." and "you have fake hair?! yah, i was wondering why your head felt like a robot!"  (deep stuff, i'm tellin ya.)

so here's to new friends, old friends, and cleaning out your closet. because those rad pair of jeans are totally wasted if you don't realize you even have them. 

;)

project runway: country western is HOT

so now that the cat is out of the proverbial bag, i can thrill all of you with joe's show from bryant park! seriously, he would have been better off doing an entire line of staten island ferry wear, because this never-cool western look officially went out when? the late 80's? unbelievable!

tho actually i don't know why i'm surprised at any of this. i mean, he's still sporting a mullet and a goatee, after all.

yee haw!

ps: what the FUCK is up with that last dress?  is that supposed to represent the star spangled banner? the 4th of july? miss america? but more importantly, could you even wear that line dancing? no!!!

90210:

i totally should have (could have) written this; clearly michael k and i have the same taste in bad tely. it also reminded me how that was the best intervention EVER! seriously, i haven't been able to watch an episode since. drunks, crack heads, stoners... YAWN. all super boring when compared to the dust sniffer! sniffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff!

thanks miss heather

project runway: the pocket square

"...i never would have imagined that young people would have such old-fashioned ideas. the next thing you know she's melanie griffith and she's taking the staten island ferry. she's got on sneakers and a briefcase. 

joe's design was every bad cliche of the working girl. i mean it's just the pocket square, the pinstripes, the poorly-tailored jacket, and the wrap blouse that a bad newscaster in idaho wore in 1986."

~queen kors

real runway: christian dior couture

now THIS is a runway show! yah, i realize that we sometimes need to see clothes that people are actually going to wear, but what fun is that? 

i was checking out all of the spring ready-to-wear shows when i stumbled upon this one. soooooo fancy ~  it makes all of the rtw stuff look like shite. which in turn, then makes the sad little project runway outfits look even extra pathetic. like remember the tiki barber challenge when carmen didn't have time to finish, so she just kind of wrapped the left over material around her models neck?  omg, so tragica.  

so here's hoping that season 6 is all about couture...! oh, but season 6 is going to be on lifetime, isn't it?  the station that only airs danielle steel movies and other housewife crap...  

nevermind.

project runway: christian siriano

it looks like he's still very much into the monochromatic, the gay swashbuckler hats, super skinny models and thousands and thousands of yards of fabric.  but that's a good thing in my opinion.  his work is gorgeous, and his show looks like it was even more bananas this go around. check it out!

project runway: little miss impatient

hmmmm, what are these pictures? where are they from? well, yes, they're exactly what you think they are ~ shots from the final project runway show at bryant park this morning! (sorry, just couldn't resist from looking. and confessing.)

it's funny, because in previous seasons i wouldn't have DARED look at these. but continuing in the spirit of omg, make it fucking end already, i had zero hesitation. also, now that blayne and stella are gone i just lost about 50% of my material. so yah, why the hell not?!?

just so you know, for the most part i picked the designers final look ~ obviously those are the best and the most flamboyant. tho in a few cases i liked other outfits better, but i thought that they were too obvious as to who made them. (you know, for those of you that still give a rats ass and are going to wait this season out until the bitter end.)

si, there are six pictures. no, there aren't two from each designer. apparently they let six of these re-re's show, but three will be cut from the official competition before the televised finale. i have also read that only two peeps get cut, but no matter, because there were only two out of the six collections that were not so bueno. (gee, who could have POSSIBLY designed those???) anyway, as long as i'm not subjected to the live version of those train wrecks i'll be a semi-happy camper.

wait, are there even more than six people left right now?  i don't think so.  which btw, prompted me to initially think, oh, so THAT'S why they just did the double elimination...  they really did have to pick up the pace before bryant park.  but then i remembered reading an article about heidi and seal's glorious house in costa cayres, mexico, and something about her having to slum it in nyc for four weeks in may/june to tape this show.  point being that this shit has been over for a looooong time ~ in real life at least. wait (take II) ~ if the finale is 10/15, that means they get a MONTH to decide who wins?  huh? because let's face it, they need what ~ maybe four hours to tape and a day to edit?  and as i recall, they always tape the show immediately after the runway... so why couldn't they just start airing this stupid season earlier?  ok, ok. sorry. caring wayyyy too much right now.

so for my fellow little miss impatients, here is the link to all of the pics: http://www.wwd.com/fashion-news/project-runway-rtw-spring-2009-1776544

hey! then if ya'll watch it, we can start debating the "who should win" topic early!  which means that i can stop writing about it early! which means that perhaps i can move on to blogging about something just slightly more intelligent. 

omfg, who am i kidding?  because i just remembered that the new season of the real world/road rules challenge started this week ~ it's called "the island." and looks pretty damn scandalous if i do say so myself. *woot*!

love,

your extremely shallow amiga

project runway: double elimination!

for reals this time! so happy that obviously the judges were thinking the same thing we were. omg, this season is taking forfuckingever. time to lop off as many heads as possible. um, are you guys sure we can only eliminate two? how about four? hey! how about all of them?

so between me wishing for that last week, then it actually happening, and my crazy dream vs. the actual party attendees... wow. definitely bizarre. i'm beginning to think that my repeated viewings of paranormal state are starting to pay off.  

omg, WHAT is kenley's problem!??!  she's starting to remind me of veruca salt. yes, i am all for defending your design, but only if it's good. not, however, if your model looks like like queen elizabeth and minnie mouse's lesbian love child on a some crazy LSD trip. moreover, why she thought that she was in the position to argue with queen kors and francisco costa is beyond me. (i think michael summed it up best with, "you know, i think there is a lotttt of self-delusion happening today!!!")

my pick last night would have been suede and blayne OUT based on shiteous outfits, then terri and veruca OUT for shiteous attitudes ~ i think they both need a mayjah reality check. oh well, at least we got rid of one of them.  and at least blayne can get back to his hairdresser and tanning bed asap.

other than that, i don't have much to say about last night, tho i was just slightly alarmed to find out that i share my astro sign with veruca and korto. (lord help me jesus!) but i can promise you that veruca has her rising sign in 'arrogant' and her moon in 'annoying' or something, because there is no way ~ NO WAY ~ that she really is a true aquarian. because if she is, i'm in big fucking trouble.

oh yes. one more thing: i thought mr. monotone was quite entertaining (in an accidental sort of way) when he was pairing people up by sign. it was also very reminiscent of that fabby scene in bridget jones' diary, when shazzer was explaining to bridget, "bridge, introduce people with thoughtful details such as 'shelia, this is daniel. daniel, this is shelia. shelia enjoys horse riding and comes from new zealand. daniel enjoys publishing and comes...' " bridget: " '...all over your face?' " heh heh heh.

tim: "kenley, you're an aquarius, and you're paired up with wes, who is a scorpio. wes, kenley is completely fucking bananas and if she makes that balenciaga dress one more time i'm totally going to hurl. kenley, wes was only here for like two weeks, but at least he got a boyfriend out of the whole fiasco. he also managed to leave with his pride and reputation intact. but i'm quite positive that i don't forsee the same outcome for you, you looney bitch."

until next week...

project runway: dream finale

literally.

last night i had a dream that tonight was the finale, and the final designers were jay, austin, daniel v and either santino or allison ~ or some weird hybrid between the two. anyway, for the bryant park runway show they each had to have 9 monochromatic looks, which i find extremely funny for several reasons.

one, now that you know what i have been working on for the past two weeks you'll immediately see where that part came from. talk about your job eating your brain. and secondly, i have been working sooooooo much that i have barely watched any tely, if any ~ the precious few hours i had last weekend were spent watching NFL games and the first two discs of mad men, season 1. (which, btw, is NOT a good show to go on a dvd bender with. it's kinda like wine ~ something you sip, definitely not something you beer bong.) moving right along... 

hell, i'm suprised i even knew what day it was.  which is actually kind of scary, because it means that my subconscious really IS brainwashed from all of this tragic tv. sigh. but now that i think about it, i recall corey haim's shrink saying that your subconscious really does all of your thinking anyway...

see? reality tv is educational after all! ok, i feel much better now.

the turks & caicos countdown...

starts now.

d - 40!

geek

boy did i looove picture day back in elementary school! i'd wear my favorite sears catalog dress, and my mum would spend quite a bit of time 'doing' my hair. (which apparently in 3rd grade, also meant going for a  little orphan annie look while she was at it.) um, not really sure what she was thinking with that one. anyway...

since i wasn't rockin' the britney's back then, my hair would only hold the curl for a few hours. so i'd sleep in those pink sponge roller thingies, and then as i was marching off to escuela, get very strict instructions about not combing my hair with those little black combs they would hand out right beforehand. in fact, i remember being slightly stressed out on this day that one of my ponytails was starting to fall before the other, so i tried to "rest" it on my shoulder in order to make it look like the other side. tho evidently by the time i got in front of the camera, that little plan went straight to hell in a handbasket. 

but hey!  at least my barrettes match my dress! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha OMG. so gay.

project runway: double elimination!

*i wish*

and i know that's what ya'll were thinking too when miss leatha and the guido were standing on the runway... just take both of them out now, while you can. PLEASE! 

truthfully i thought that joe's outfit was quiet possibly the most hideous thing i had ever seen in my entire life, but from a personal standpoint at least i can tune him out. on the other hand, stella's voice drives me INSANE, so i definitely think they made the right decision. later sk8ter!

and once again, we had some pretty funny quotes this week. first, holla at ya boy blayne with: "my first thought about a fashion legend was mary-kate olsen. i want every challenge to be about mary-kate. i want to marry mary-kate. who doesn't? i mean, besides tim gunn..." and then with an obvious attempt at simply getting air time: "diane's gonna loooove my look. i saw her give me a little googly eye when i first met her. what can i say? she loves a tan. so it's in the bag." first of all, blayney, fashion "legends" are NOT 23 years old, you idiot. and no, diane does NOT "love a tan." she was actually completely mortified by that stupid blue terry cloth headband you were sportin' for three days straight. or most likely, she thought you were retarded and just felt sorry for you. lord knows that i do most of the time.

then queen kors to stella: "um, the pant? hello?!?! it looks like she's got a little somethin' missin' if you know what i mean!"

and finally, leanne, with probably my most favorite moment in project runway history, as she was running around the room apparently playing hide and seek with herself: "wow, i would love to be a spy. secret agent leanne. and then. hunt. everyone. down. like. an. animal." omg, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER??? she's totally loco! i must have replayed that scene five or six times, because it's almost as if she is reading drametia.com and thinking, ok, i need to give tia and her pals a true serial killer moment.  (because i know that ya'll thought of me when this happened.) totally & completely brilliant.

btw, do we have a new theme emerging? the cry baby one? barf. chicks and fags, always crying. i can't take it anymore!  the only person i don't ever envision crying is terri, probably because she is neither of the above... heh heh.

so since the whole cast is clearly bananas, i'm going to pretend that i watched the show on mute...

leanne's  dress was GORGE. i loved it.  she really IS talented, despite the massive amounts of screws loose in her cabeza.  korto's dress was beautiful too ~ so glad she didn't listen to mr. monotone and ended up keeping the yellow flair.

so. at this point, if i were forced to watch an entire collection from any three of these yahoos (which i will be), right now i'd have to say that i'd choose leanne, korto and... jerell. 

thoughts?